ELSAC Workout: Scholarship Personal Statement

ELSAC Workout: Scholarship Personal Statement

Get Writing Fit!

Learn the basic structure of a Scholarship Personal Statement
Understand and distinguish between writing styles for different programs
4 tasks included

Level: Intermediate
Time: approx. 1.5 hours
Suggested next workout: Interview Skills for Scholarship Application

Extra support:

Work through the practice activities in order, by clicking on the tabs at the top of the next page. After completing all practice, the Result tab will summarize your workout. A Sample Scholarship Personal Statement is included as an example. Record your results as proof of independent learning and as motivation to repeat the workout and beat your score. Practice makes you fitter!

Material developed by Hebe Wong, Charlotte T H Chiu.

*** All ELSAC Workouts ***

1. Overview A B B.i. B.ii. B.iii. B.iii.2. B.iv C 2 3 Result Sample

Overview

You may be required to write a Scholarship Personal Statement for scholarship award applications. The goal of the Scholarship Personal Statement is to explain the reasons why your candidacy should be considered, your contributions to the institute if you are awarded the scholarship, and your intentions to utilize the scholarship for career and/or educational advancement. The Scholarship Personal Statement is expected to exhibit all-rounded abilities of the applicant with focus in the knowledge or skills that best suit the awarding institute.

Overall Structure
1. Opening Passage (Opening remark/Attention Grabber)
2. Body Paragraphs
3. Concluding Paragraph: how to end with a positive impression
Tips for the Content
1. Length of the Scholarship Personal Statement
2. Don't just include descriptions of your achievements, include an anecdote
3. Tailor the Personal Statement to the institute needs
Language Use
1. Be descriptive
2. Focus on your goals

1) Overall Structure

The structure of the Scholarship Personal Statement is different from the standard academic essay, no argument is presented . The main purpose of a Scholarship Personal Statement is to highlight your best qualities for the scholarship. It should include the following key components:

Opening statement
Body paragraphs:
1. Academic Excellence
2. Work Experience
3. Personality
4. Career Goals

A. Opening Statement

The opening passage in the introduction serves as an "attention getter". It should attract the reader's attention instantly and can be presented in THREE ways:

Traditional opening statement
Anecdote
Famous Quote

You may cite famous quotations at the beginning of the introduction. However, the quotation should be specific and relevant to discipline of the scholarship. For example, an applicant of the Business School Scholarship may write: "As Gordon Gekko writes, 'The most valuable commodity I know of is information'". This is a famous quote related to the awarding institute, which is the Business School .

Another option is to use traditional opening passages in letters. For example, an opening like, "I am writing to apply for the Business School Scholarship", is acceptable.

The content of the introduction should explain the opening passage. For example, if a famous quotation was cited, the following sentences should justify the connection between the quotation and your personal story.

Task 1

Assuming that you are applying for a community service scholarship, choose the LEAST appropriate opening passage from the following list by clicking onto the circle:

1.	When I was 14, I completed the most community service hours than anyone from my secondary school.	^(a)
2.	I grew up in Wong Tai Sin, where many households had troubles making ends meet every month and many families were without both parents.	^(b)
3.	Mother Theresa said, "The fruit of love is service, which is compassion in action". I have devoted most of my leisure time to community service work because I believe that my capacity to love is beyond the manifestations of words. Change could only be brought when words are put into action.	^(c)
4.	At the end of the alleyway was a door. Behind the door, 50 families under the poverty line resided.	^(d)
5.	I am writing to apply for the Community Service Scholarship Program, which I believe corresponds to my passions in serving the community.	^(e)

I grew up in Wong Tai Sin, where many households had troubles making ends meet every month and many families were without both parents.

Answer. This passage is the least suitable. It does not supply details beyond the information obtainable from the CV.

B. Body Paragraphs

Typically, there would be four paragraphs in total, but you should not limit the number of paragraphs used. The paragraphs should illustrate the following aspects:

academic excellence;
work experience;
personality and soft skills; and
career goals.

The body paragraphs should relate to the events and traits indicated in the introduction paragraph. The structure of the body paragraphs should be clear and organized. Begin with a topic sentence to address the specific area you will talk about in the paragraph. Present an event that relates to the area as proposed. An event could be a course you have taken, an activity you have participated in, or a project you have completed during an internship. Details of the event should be provided with quantified achievements. The body paragraphs should be concluded with a sentence or two to justify the significance of the event and how it relates to your application.

As explained earlier, more than three body paragraphs may be included. If there are two work experience that are significant to you, you may use two paragraphs and have five body paragraphs in total. However, make sure to stay within the word limit. Every paragraph should follow the respective structures as explained below.

i. Academic Excellence

This paragraph should explain your program and your grades. Use two to three sentences to discuss the program you are studying and state your grades. Then, present an event that relates to your cumulative GPA. This could be about a project or presentation you have done in the past. Quantify your achievement by stating the specific grade you have obtained in the project or presentation. Finally, justify the significance of the project or presentation by showing how it have inspired you and provided you with the skillset required for the program.

The following diagram is an example of the "Academic Excellence" paragraph:

Body paragraph on Academic Excellence
Discuss the program you are studying and your grades.	I am a third-year student in the Department of English at City University of Hong Kong. My average grade is 87.6 and my current cumulative GPA is 3.7 out of 4.0.
Present an event.	During my studies in the program, I was most inspired by the "Victorian Realist Novels" course. In the course, I was assigned an individual research project to compare Victorian and Neo-Victorian pieces. I incorporated contemporary Neo-Victorian writing, encompassing an array of media such as poetry, novels, and scriptwriting.
Quantify your achievements.	I received a grade of 94 for my project and received positive feedbacks on my unique topic of, "Racial dynamics and Colour-blindness in Neo-Victorian literature".
Justify the significance of the project or presentation.	Not only was this project significant to my final grade, it also inspired me to recognize my passion in English Literature. It allowed me to understand the connection between social trends and literature, and have enlightened me to formulate ideas for future research as I continue to pursue further education.

B.i.

Task 2

Body paragraph 1: Academic Excellence

Drag and drop the sentences in the most appropriate sequence to form the "Academic Excellence" paragraph: The first one has been done for you

1.	I am a full-time undergraduate student in the Faculty of Psychology and I am also working as a part-time employee at The Heart Charity.(Topic sentence)
2.	⁽¹⁾
3.	⁽²⁾
4.	⁽³⁾
5.	⁽⁴⁾
6.	⁽⁵⁾
7.	⁽⁶⁾

My role at The Heart Charity have allowed me to integrate my studies in the Psychology program with my interests in Community Service.

With consent from the charity, I was able to conduct research for a project for my Psychology 101 course while I participate in community service activities.

Despite my involvement in community services, I am able utilize my commitments as an advantage for a project in the Psychology 101 course.

The scholarship would support my pursuit in education advancement in the abovementioned specialization and facilitate my contributions to community.

My achievements in the project have led me to develop passion for further studies in the specialized area of cognitive psychology of people in poverty.

I received a mark of 92% for the project, which was equivalent to an A.

B.ii.

ii. Work Experience

The second body paragraph should illustrate the candidate's work experience that is relevant to the scholarship award. For example, if a candidate is applying for a scholarship award for outstanding contribution in community service, then an experience about working for a charity or non-profit organization would be suitable. First, use one to two sentences to introduce the job nature of the work experience. Then, provide examples on how you have conducted your work. Quantify the achievement by providing numbers and data as evidence for your contribution. Justify the example and explain how it helped your personal development. Finally, conclude by outlining how this work experience contributes to your profile.

The following diagram is an example of the "Work Experience" paragraph:

Job Title	Volunteer at elderly home
Job Nature	After volunteering at the elderly home regularly, I was provided the opportunity to be the group leader of our volunteer group. My role included coordinating volunteer events, relaying messages from the elderly home staff to group members, and assisting the preparations for special celebrations, such as birthday parties.
Provide Examples	Last Christmas, I was asked to coordinate a Christmas party for the elderly residents. Initially, only 30% of the residents were interested in attending the party. To encourage participation, I arranged a meeting between my group members the day before the event. We baked cookies and refreshments for the party, so that the residents could feel our sincerity. The objective of the Christmas party was to create opportunities for elderly residents to socialize, which was proven to help with mental health.
Quantify achievement	Our positive energy radiated, and we achieved full attendance at the elderly home. Some family members of the residents came to the party and expressed gratitude for our hard work.
Justify the example	This was a memorable experience for me. Community service have allowed me to help people but have also inspired my personal growth. I learned that caring for people is a multi-faceted enterprise. Instead of ordering delivered food for the party attendees, hand-made refreshments were a better expression of our sincerity.
Concluding sentence	The Community Service Scholarship would help to off-set the expenses for activities like this baking event. In the future, I could organize more programs at the elderly home with the financial assistance from the scholarship.

Task 3
Body paragraph 2: Work Experience

Drag and drop the sentences in the most appropriate sequence to form the "Work Experience" paragraph: The last one has been done for you.

1.	⁽¹⁾
2.	⁽²⁾
3.	⁽³⁾
4.	⁽⁴⁾
5.	⁽⁵⁾
6.	⁽⁶⁾
7.	Most importantly, I was able to enjoy the internship wholeheartedly as I was passionate in community service. (Concluding sentence)

My proposal of couple outdoor yoga was successful and was subsequently executed by the company.

I was assigned the task of designing a charity event to promote couple therapy.

HandsUp Asia is a renowned charity in Hong Kong that advocates for mental health awareness.

The internship experience allowed me to understand the operations of charities in Hong Kong and provided me with an insider view of the clinical psychology industry.

During my summer holiday of 2018, I had the honor to work at HandsUp Asia as a summer intern.

The yoga activity attracted 6 couples to participate in HandsUp Asia's couple therapy course.

iii. Personality and Soft Skills

Personality denotes the candidate's internal relationship with oneself. Examples of descriptions are positive mindset, loyal, extroverted, self-reflective, and presentable.

Soft skills denotes external relationship between the candidate and other people. Examples of descriptions are communicative, decision-making, organizational, and open-minded.

Personality

Use effective vocabulary to describe the personality you would like to focus on. Provide an example about how your personality helped you in an achievement. Then, justify why the personality is helpful in your academics or work. The follow diagram shows the organization of this paragraph. Click on the boxes to reveal its content.

Personality Trait	Extroverted
Vocabulary	(Click to find out more)
Example	(Click to find out more)
Justify	(Click to find out more)

Soft Skills

For the paragraph about Soft Skills, use effective vocabulary to present your strongest skill. Provide an example in detail to show how the soft skill enabled your achievement. Then, justify the soft skill by showing how it would facilitate your career goals. The follow diagram shows the organization of this paragraph. Click on the boxes to reveal its content.

Soft Skill	Communication
Vocabulary	(Click to find out more)
Example	(Click to find out more)
Justify	(Click to find out more)

Task 4

There are 5 pairs of adjectives to describe Personal Strengths in the list below. Match the adjectives on the left with the adjectives on the right which describe similar qualities of personalities. Enter the letter in the boxes provided. One example has been completed for you.

iv. Career Goals

This paragraph explains how the scholarship would assist you in achieving your career goals. Use a topic sentence to state the industry you are interested in. Then, describe your career goals in detail. Quantify your goal by providing details of the specific degree program or trainee program you wish to apply for. For cash awards, explain how you would utilize the money and justify the usage of the funds. For tuition scholarships, explain why financial assistance is significant to you.

Topic sentence	With my psychology degree, I will dedicate my career to serving the health care industry.
Career goals	I wish to become a clinical psychologist and provide counselling to people who struggle with mental health problems.
Quantify your goal	To achieve this career goal, I will continue my education in a 4-year Masters training program in clinical psychology.
Justify the usage of the scholarship funds	The scholarship would provide financial assistance for my studies. The funds would be used to off-set the tuition for my Masters education as I continue to serve The Heart Charity and strive to be a qualified clinical psychologist.

C. Concluding Paragraph: How to end with positive impression

The concluding paragraph should reinforce your passions and enthusiasm for your career goals. Reiterate the reasons of your suitability and express your gratitude for the committee's time in considering your candidacy. Indicate your interest in the award in the first sentence of the paragraph. Then, relate back to the opening passage. If you cited a famous quotation in the opening passage, mention the relevance of the speaker or writer of the quotation. For example, if you cited Gordon Gekko's "The most valuable commodity I know of is information", you may write,

"Gordon Gekko's insights will continue to inspire me as I pursue further education in information technology. I wish to apply my knowledge into my business ventures in the future and experience Gekko's statement about the value of information."

Then, discuss the things you need to learn and how you would acquire such knowledge with the award.

Task 5

Choose the most appropriate conclusion by clicking on the circle next to the item:

a)	I believe this scholarship award would give me the financial assistance to pay off my loans. As a student who is planning to pursue continuing studies after my bachelor's degree, financial assistance is important. It would be highly appreciated if I could be awarded the scholarship.	^(a)
b)	I would like to express my gratitude towards your consideration of my application. Mother Theresa will remain as my inspiration as I continue to devote my time and efforts to community service. I hope that my career goals will turn into a life-long vocation. The scholarship award provides me with the financial assistance required for further studies in the field of psychology as I continue to serve The Heart Charity during the years ahead. The reality of working for NGOs and charities is that compensation pacakges are dependent on the grants from government and funding from sponsors. However, this would not prevent me from providing my services to The Heart Charity because I am certain that my calling is community service. I would dedicate my leisure time to the foundation while I pursue further education. With a clinical psychology qualification, I will be able to serve the community with professional service and extend my expertise to those who are in need.	^(b)
c)	I have already won multiple scholarships for my participation in community service. However, financial assistance is needed in my pursuit of master's studies, which makes this award important. I would continue to serve at The Heart Charity because I could gain work experience that would facilitate my job-hunting process when I am qualified. Due to my dedication to the Charity, I believe I am suitable for the Community Service Scholarship Award. Thank you for considering my application.	^(c)

I would like to express my gratitude towards your consideration of my application. (

express gratitude) Mother Theresa will remain as my inspiration as I continue to devote my time and efforts to community service. I hope that my career goals will turn into a life-long vocation. (

relate back to opening passage) The scholarship award provides me with the financial assistance required for further studies in the field of psychology as I continue to serve The Heart Charity during the years ahead. (

express interest in the award) The reality of working for NGOs and charities is that compensation pacakges are dependent on the grants from government and funding from sponsors. However, this would not prevent me from providing my services to The Heart Charity because I am certain that my calling is community service. I would dedicate my leisure time to the foundation while I pursue further education. With a clinical psychology qualification, I will be able to serve the community with professional service and extend my expertise to those who are in need. (

discuss what you need to learn and how the award would help you in obtaining the knowledge)

2) Writing tips

a. Length of the Scholarship Personal Statement

The Scholarship Personal Statement should be written as descriptively as possible. It is an opportunity for you to convince the committee of your abilities and suitability for the award. If the application guidelines do not provide a word limit, a good measure for the length would be around 1.5 to 2 pages.

b. Be descriptive

Avoid listing out your abilities and experience without explaining the relevance. Use appropriate pronouns, adjectives, and technical terms to explain why an event was significant to your growth, justifying with reasons for including such description into your Personal Statement. Unlike the CV, personal pronouns such as, "me", "her", "him", "they" are acceptable. For example, you may write in the opening passage, "When I was 14, I completed the most community service hours than anyone from my secondary school".

c. Focus on your Goals

While it is important to describe your past achievements in detail, you should also relate your ideas back to the missions of the awarding institute. Your goal is to impress the committee with your achievements and your first impression is sculpted through your writing. To ensure that your writing is focused, it is essential to plan the structure and brainstorm the ideas of your statement before you begin writing. A clear structure conveys your message effectively and exhibits your efforts.

d. Don't merely include descriptions of your achievements, include an anecdote.

While achievements are important to the Personal Statement, readers are more interested in how these events have shaped your personality and how you have showcased your strengths. Including an anecdote would draw the reader's attention from the outset, distinguishing your story from the others. An anecdote is an interesting story about you. It should be amusing, biographical, and informative in nature. First person voice should be used to enhance the sincerity of the content. The anecdote can be illustrated in the opening passage, following the same opening passage structure in the diagram presented in this worksheet.

e. Tailor the Personal Statement to the Awarding Institute

If you are applying to multiple scholarship programs, it is tempting to use the same Personal Statement for all applications. However, the most important ingredient in any Personal Statement is sincerity. Researching about the philosophy and priorities of the discipline helps construct a Personal Statement that aligns with the values of the committee.

3) Language Use

The writing style in a Scholarship Personal Statement should be personal and tailored to the awarding institute. Adapt the language, style, and keywords of the institute. For example, an applicant of a legal scholarship should write in succinct language that is indicative of their legal writing skills. An Arts student should write in a prose style that would best reflect their artistry. In simpler words, an applicant should have adequate training in the discipline of the awarding institute. Therefore, employing the same writing style as one would in school assignments would be acceptable.

The following pairs of sentences were taken from different Scholarship Personal Statements. Click on the circle to choose the more appropriate item.

Task 6

CONGRATULATIONS! You have completed this workout and improved your Scholarship Personal Statement. Your results are below. Record your results as proof of independent learning. Take a rest, then repeat this workout to beat your personal best, or try a different one.

Suggested next workout: Interview Skills for Scholarship Application

Student's Name (Type in):

Final Result of Scholarship Personal Statement

Date:

Activity	Correct	Maximum	Percentage
Task 1	0		0%
Task 2	0		0%
Task 3	0		0%
Task 4	0		0%
Task 5	0		0%
Task 6	0		0%
Total Score	0		0%

Time Taken:

Sample

Sample Scholarship Personal Statement

Mother Theresa said, "The fruit of love is service, which is compassion in action". I have devoted most of my leisure time to community service work because I believe that my capacity to love is beyond the manifestations of words. Change could only be brought when words are put into action. Opening passage

I am a full-time undergraduate student in the Faculty of Psychology and I am also working as a part-time employee at The Heart Charity. Despite my involvement in community services, I am able utilize my commitments as an advantage for a project in the Psychology 101 course. My role at The Heart Charity have enabled me to integrate my studies in the Psychology program with my interests in Community Service. With consent from the charity, I was able to conduct research for a project for my Psychology 101 course while I participate in community service activities. I received a mark of 92% for the project, which was equivalent to an A. My achievements in the project have led me to develop a passion for further studies in the specialized area of cognitive psychology of people in poverty. The scholarship would support my pursuit in education advancement in the abovementioned specialization and facilitate my contributions to community. body paragraph: Academic excellence

During my summer holiday of 2018, I had the honor to work at HandsUp Asia as a summer intern. HandsUp Asia is a renowned charity in Hong Kong that advocates for mental health awareness. I was assigned the task of designing a charity event to promote couple therapy. My proposal of couple outdoor yoga was successful and was subsequently executed by the company. The yoga activity attracted 6 couples to participate in HandsUp Asia's couple therapy course. The internship experience allowed me to understand the operations of charities in Hong Kong and provided me with an insider view of the clinical psychology industry. Most importantly, I was able to enjoy the internship wholeheartedly as I was passionate in community service. body paragraph: Work experience

I am extroverted and I enjoy activities with opportunities to interact with people. This personality trait had allowed me to be confident when serving people. The community service award would encourage me to nurture this trait as I continue to be motivated to participate in activities. body paragraph: Personality

My strongest soft skill is communicative. With a minor in marketing, I am trained to make presentations in front of an audience. My ability to present my ideas eloquently and confidently have led me to become the volunteering emcee of The Heart Charity. Last year, I was the emcee for both the Moon Festival party and the Christmas party. With opportunities to speak in public, I became better at improvising, which I believe would facilitate the achievement of my career goals in the future. body paragraph: Soft Skills

With my psychology degree, I will dedicate my career to serving the community. I wish to become a clinical psychologist and provide counselling to people who struggles with mental health problems. To achieve this career goal, I will continue my education in the Masters training program for clinical psychology. The scholarship would provide financial assistance for my studies. The funds would be used to off-set the tuition for my Masters education as I continue to serve The Heart Charity and strive to be a qualified clinical psychologist. body paragraph: Career goals

I would like to express my gratitude towards your consideration of my application. Mother Theresa will remain as my inspiration as I continue to devote my time and efforts to community service. I hope that my career goals will turn into a life-long vocation. The scholarship award provides me with the financial assistance required for further studies in the field of psychology as I continue to serve The Heart Charity during the years ahead. The reality of working for NGOs and charities is that compensation is often dependent on the funding from government and sponsors. However, this would not prevent me from providing my services to The Heart Charity because I am certain that my life calling is community service. I will dedicate my leisure time to the foundation while I pursue further education. With a clinical psychology qualification, I will be able to serve the community with professional service and extend my expertise to those who are in need. Concluding Paragraph

A)	Outgoing	A	Trouble-shooting
B)	Proactive	B	Zealous
C)	Empathetic	C	Compassionate
D)	Leadership	D	Creative
E)	Resourceful	E	Sociable

Opening statement:
^(a)This statement aims to illustrate the applicant's strengths in applying the Scholarship.	^(b)I am writing to explain why I should be the best candidate for the Scholarship by explaining my talents, achievements, and passions.

Career goal:
^(a)I like travelling and I believe this scholarship can widen my horizon.	^(b)The expedition to Maya will provide excellent opportunities for me to understand the culture of Central America.